7.9 Final Score
FAQ Guava Blast Review Bottom Line
Although the name is out there this eliquid seems to be rather unique, with a refreshing and sweet taste it's probably not one for an all day vape, but if you're after a nice subtle taste explosion of Guava, then this is the juice for you!
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Well who would have thought a complete novice reviewing eliquids would be more popular than the pros! Well back by popular demand is Martins E-Liquid review, this time we gave him FAQ Guava Blast, check out his hilarious thoughts of this juice:
Have you ever realized that those crisps in a tube that aren’t real crisps are determined to make you look like a fat pig? If your hands are bigger than a child then these bad boys will make you look like a hungry hippo. Never try to eat these whilst in public or behind the wheel, it will end in disaster. It is very like how I decided to try this juice instead of another. I was rummaging around in a zip lock bag as my top bit on the Geek Vape Griffin 25 Plus was almost as dry as a camel’s hoof when I realized the zip wasn’t open far enough to remove my hand. My hand is not the size of a bunch of bananas and the juice is kept in a bag to avoid the front toilet issue or pocket leaks.
If you have ever traveled in an average speed zone you will know how difficult it is to not break the law. Doing this whilst trying to concentrate on replenishing your top bit with a hand trapped is very traumatic. At one point, I thought I’d have to bite my way out of this. I seriously cannot remember reading this on the warning signs.
Now, has anyone heard anything called Guava blast? No, me neither. My google search history would probably bring up something completely unrelated in the video context and would automatically play loudly in a public place. Like those videos, you click on when a friend tags you in them and immediately get very evil looks from the people surrounding you. If you haven’t got a dodgy search history then you are a magician and have found out that wizard way of clearing it. I have no clue how to do that, so if anyone wants to use my sofa commuter I automatically go into meltdown. Especially if they want to search anything beginning with ‘P’. I run to the internet generator and switch it off claiming my internet is very poor.
What would make a great ejuice? Knowing what it is supposed to taste like by naming it so would be a great start and of coarse having one of the best vape mods helps too! One that doesn’t make you windows cloudy, which could cause you to be raided by the police thinking that you’re growing a herbal substance as your neighbors watch too much television. Bigger bottles but we all know that we have the silly overpaid people who have never actually had a real job have ensured we cannot have that. Maybe a juice that will not burn away in a single suck. I know that I would very much enjoy a proper name so that I know what I’m getting. Maybe I should start producing a bleach, call it ‘Lacotani’ and bottle it in drink sized bottles. No doubt I wouldn’t be in business long.
Going into vape shops to select a new juice is the most exciting experience carried out for us vapers in adult hood, well apart from those few occasions in the month your other half isn’t tired, has a headache, must be up early, etc, etc. Standing there trying out juice after juice wanting to find one that you would order a 32000-litre tanker full of. Sadly, the harsh reality is that the time you do find one, the young teenager behind the counter who has zero customer service skills, informs you that the one you have just fallen in love with is out of stock. Like being in a nightclub, seeing the most beautiful person on earth, introducing yourself only to find out that they have a partner. Often this is a lie! These vape shops are very much like nightclubs, they smell a bit funky and the cloud of vape that hits you when you enter already has you making terrible decisions. I once went in for a top inner bit and left with a new battery and top bit. Should really have read the best e cig info first I guess, my bad!
As a child, I was forced to eat vegetables that even to this day should only be used as a torture method. My mother used to disguise parsnips as roast potatoes. Yes, I know, I had a horrific childhood. If a parent was to do that to their child today, they would be reported to social media and a petition to parliament would be created achieve a million signatures, a march would be arranged and riots would shortly follow. I know what I like and I know what I don’t like.
When I finally retrieved my hand back from the bag and caught a glimpse of the name written on the bottle, I was already past the point of no return. My top bit being completely dry, I had to give this a go. I was expecting it to taste like skittles crossed with starburst. That’s the only way I can describe the brief whiff I caught of the juice whilst refilling the top bit. As a committed vaper, I didn’t care, I just wanted my lungs to be filled with a cloud.
As I sit in my car, in normally non-moving traffic, I’m certain the vehicles behind me have called the fire brigade. They must be convinced my vehicle is on fire. If I was in America, I’m sure the natives would bring me a steak dinner assuming that I was sending them smoke signals.
Imagine that feeling you get just before you open a packet of skittles and throw as many as you can into your mouth. Your taste buds anxiously awaiting all that flavor. Your mouth watering like a St Bernard dog watching you eat a perfectly cooked piece of fillet steak. Getting the first full hit of this juice is exactly like that. It has your senses wanting you to puff on that top bit like a choo choo train. It is so flavorsome, magical and yummy that you cannot even identify the flavors inside of this magical liquid.
The person who blended this must have been one of Willie Wonka’s workers. I can now see why they have given it the name they have. They must have tasted this and tried to say something else and came up with ‘FAQ GUAVA’ then added Blast so that there weren’t sacked.
I would recommend this juice to anyone. I would recommend it to those vapers who are looking at vaping to quit smoking or to those people who need a little joy in their life. With every inhale from my top bit, I cannot get enough. Only happy thoughts are in my head turning this traffic jam into a real pleasure.